


slow like pseudo-ephedrine

by Kindacool



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Anorexia, Blood and Gore, Character Death, Depression, Drug Withdrawal, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Eating Disorders, Good Brother Klaus Hargreeves, Good Sister Vanya Hargreeves, Gunshot Wounds, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Klaus Hargreeves-centric, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sibling Bonding, Sober Klaus Hargreeves, Sorry Not Sorry, Time Travel, Vanya and Klaus finally fix things by being decent human beings, Vietnam War, Violence, War, but I make him suffer instead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2019-11-19 11:07:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18134951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kindacool/pseuds/Kindacool
Summary: He started feeling alive, day after day, and soon the haze of drugs seemed like they belonged in a entire different timeline. A timeline, in which Klaus did everything wrong. He had been given a second chance in this hell on earth, given a place to stay, and a place to belong. On the battlefield he had responsibility, and every single one of the other soldiers trusted him with their lives, and he trusted his with them.alternatively; It's Luther, not Five who talks with Klaus when he gets home from Vietnam





	1. all the glamour (and the horror)

**Author's Note:**

> okay I actually have soooo many ideas for this fic, so it'll probably be preety long!!!
> 
> hope u enjoy - im not a native English speaker, so sry abt any potential faults :D

Sobriety wasn’t easy and Klaus knew this. He’d tried it more times than he could count, but had never made it longer than the obligated 3 month at rehab. Therefore he had thought that maybe, it would be easy once he had passed that mark. But of course it hadn’t been easier and he just wanted to be numb again. To be swallowed whole by the sweet wave of nothingness, and relaxation and that familiar fuzziness in his brain that drugs would always bring him. A year ago he would’ve given in. Would have gone out on the street, to find a dealer, or get fucked up at a nightclub. But not this time, no.

So, what was different?  
Klaus hated to admit it, ‘cause he really wasn’t the romantic or mushy type but it was, well, it was Dave. Dave was the one thing that was out of place in his life, in the most wonderful way.

So Klaus wanted to try, even when when he laid at night with an itch under his skin that he just couldn’t scratch and more and more ghost started wallowing around him in each passing moment. He stayed strong even after those fucking 3 months and suddenly he had been clean for 4 months and counting.

Dave was proud of him. He was proud because he had been there when Klaus had just arrived, shell shocked and confused, and when he, a few days later, bought a couple of conspicuous-looking blue pills from a vietnamese hooker, unable to handle the empty promise of sobriety. He was there, when Klaus went through withdrawal in the middle of a battle they were losing, and when Klaus had been shot clean in the foot and nearly died of blood loss. He was there when Klaus said he was going sober to him, and he had the most amazing look in his eyes. A look Klaus almost didn’t recognise. It was a look of belief and hope.

It was a look he had longed for his entire life, a look he had searched for in his siblings eyes but never found.

So every shake, every ache, every last scream of the dead and the damned was okay - it was easy almost, when the alternative was loosing that look. 

For the first time in his life Klaus wanted to be sober. He craved the overwhelming feelings he used to hate, because suddenly he wasn’t made up entirely of sadness and regret but of butterflies and the taste of scotch at a disco. Every time he saw Dave could be the last time, and Klaus wanted to map out the curve of his brow and the crinkle in his eyes when he laughed and exactly where his hairline started. Hell, he wanted to be there when his hairline started to recede.

He wanted to feel. Feel it all, because there was nothing bad left to feel. Every day he felt better and better, almost like he belonged here. Like he was born to travel back in time and find Dave and fight beside him and all their brothers. 

And even when one of these brothers died, he still wanted to feel the pain and the loss, because fucking hell if these men didn’t deserve it. They deserved to be mourned properly because they were amazing men who were thrust into a war they had no business in. 

He started feeling alive, day after day, and soon the haze of drugs seemed like they belonged in a entire different timeline. A timeline, in which Klaus did everything wrong. He had been given a second chance in this hell on earth, given a place to stay, and a place to belong. On the battlefield he had responsibility, and every single one of the other soldiers trusted him with their lives, and he trusted his with them.

He was also trusted with their lives after death - a responsibility he finally took seriously, and in his spare time he sat and wrote letter after letter to his brothers’ family, friends and lovers. Whether or not these people believed him, when he told them the fallen soldiers last wishes, he didn’t care about. In reality, he only did it to bring the other soldiers peace. Usually that did it, and the fallen men moved on to wherever people go when they die. They moved on, and left Klaus to mourn for them once again. 

Sobriety wasn’t easy, but fuck if it wasn’t worth it.

***

Everything is black. The dark is so fucking loud, and his ears are ringing with so much power it feels like they’re about to fall off his damn head. He kinda wishes they did so he could have a few seconds of silence. The enemy is way closer than comfort and they are laying in the mud and the dirt and the cold, side by side as always, and defending themselves best as they can. The attack wasn’t expected, and they’ve already lost so many people. Good people, people who deserved to get home from this hell and fall in love and have kids and grow old. People who Klaus can still see, standing around in front of him, to his side and behind him, yelling in confusion and in pain, and Klaus can’t see, he can’t hear, but suddenly Dave’s hand is on his back and it grounds him, brings him back to reality. 

He snaps out of it, and gets back in position, breathing deeply in and out, just like they practiced when he just came here. Focusing and shooting again and again, getting lost in the night, but in a different way. 

Maybe, he thinks later, much later, maybe, that’s why he didn’t notice when Dave stopped stirring beside him. Maybe, just maybe, Dave would have survived, or a medic would have had enough time to get there, or he could have put enough pressure on the wound, if he had just noticed. 

But he didn’t notice, and Dave is dead.

Dave is dead and life is as dull as ever.

***

the rest of the night passes in a blur. After he had screamed himself hoarse after a medic, one had finally arrived, and just as Klaus had gotten a glimpse of hope that maybe Dave could still be saved - he saw the look in the medics eyes and he knew it was to0 late. 

The medic - Benjamin, his name was, but everyone called him Ben and wasn’t that just fucking fantastic, way to put salt in this huge festering wound God - had to drag Klaus away from Dave - no not Dave, because Dave was standing in front of him, just a glimpse of his former self, but Klaus didn’t have enough time to call out for him before a bomb exploded near him and the world was reduced to sand and dust and pain.

He ran, and the rest of the group followed, because they knew it was their only fucking chance at survival right now. They ran, and he left Dave, and he never got a chance to bury his body, or tell his ghost that it was alright. Even though that would have been a huge lie.

When their back at camp, Klaus waste no second getting into his tent - the one he shared with Dave, his brain helpfully provided - where the briefcase laid badly hidden under a couple of shirt under the bed. He didn’t hesitate, would have used the bloody thing a lifetime ago if it wasn’t for Dave. 

A second and 51 years later he sat on the same bus he had all those months ago. Here he was, 10 month later, 5 months sober, and the rest of his life in front of him. The sun was shining in from outside, embracing his skin in a way it never did in Vietnam. Air Condition was on and was the first thing he noticed when all of his senses returned to him in a flash of too-much and too-little. The briefcase rested on his legs, both arms gripping it tightly enough to hurt and his eyes stared out in front of him unseeing and unblinking. Almost with no effort a tear ran down his cheek, cleaning the dirt of that single spot. Many more followed.  
The bus stopped, and Klaus, who very much related to this, stepped off and destroyed the stupid, fucking piece of shit briefcase, and cried his heart out for a man who couldn’t hear him.


	2. and I got love falling like the rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Turn down the voice inside my head  
> Cos heaven only knows why we feel this emptiness  
> But I will climb out, find another view  
> Now I've found you
> 
> \- Ultralife by oh wonder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! Thanks for the positive reactions on chapter one!! 
> 
> I have a small warning for this chapter, there's a rape mention and the mention of the q-word, but it's very brief, like blink-and-you'll-miss-it-brief, so I hope It doesn't bother anyone too much!
> 
> Anyways enjoy!!

Under the covers, way too hot, and way too sticky they stared at each other. Everything was soft and dulled by the copious amount of alcohol they had had, which made the words flow more steadily and way,  _ way _ more easily.

 

Klaus had told Dave about himself, about how, when the ghosts were at their worst and he didn’t know what to do, he used to go to the abandoned bathroom in the west end of dear old dad’s mansion, and soak in the bath for as long as he could. He would duck under the water, holding his breath and stare up at the surface, at the way the soap disfigured and dissolved all the bad images that was shown to him.

He told Dave about how it helped, made him able to breathe again, and how the ache in his eyes would be worth it for the amount of peace the time in the water brought him.

 

***

 

He felt as if his entire body itched, much like it used to right after the withdrawal phase was over. Now his body felt like it either weighed too much, or nothing at all. His shirt hugged his scrawny body drenched in sweat and no matter how much he tried he couldn’t breathe properly. It was as if the air escaped him, time after time. Mechanically, like a ghost of himself - funny, funny - he slipped the dirty shirt of and the pants followed shortly after.

 

He dumped himself into the bath, same one he always used, same one he told Dave about, and tried, what he always tried. Unsurprisingly, it didn’t help. He had a feeling nothing would. But at the very least he could clean the literal blood of his hands, alongside the grime and dirt. It must have been what, 5 days since his last bath, so even if it didn’t help him mentally, it sure did help physically. When the sounds of helicopters went off above him, he decided bath-time was over.

  
  


Back in his room the same pants he always used to wear was put on in autopilot-mode, bringing a small sense of comfort in this new Dave-less world. Almost as if summoned, Dave's dog-tags fell from his pocket and onto the floor, and Klaus was flooded with relief. Dave had taken him aside and given him the dog-tags just before they headed out for the day. He’d said that that way, they wouldn’t have to worry about dying, because you couldn’t do that with another's person’s dog-tags. Klaus had just smiled and handed Dave his own. Now there it was, on the ground, and as Klaus picked it up he was immensely thankful that it hadn’t fallen off on the run back to camp or the run back to the future. 

 

He was so caught up in his own little world that it shocked him, just a tiny bit when suddenly Luther was at the door. One would think you would be able to hear a 7 foot tall gorilla man walking down the hall, but apparently not. Small wonders.

 

“Hey, Five says-” 

 

Klaus pulled his shirt the rest of the way down his torso and looked up, a question in his eyes.

 

“Are you okay?” he then asked, a hint of worry in his voice. Well, wasn’t this surprising. Klaus almost smiled. 

 

“Yeah just,” he sighed “long night.”

 

Silence fell between them. Klaus could almost hear the gears turning in Luther's head, and as he felt his brother’s searching eyes he finally figured out why Luther didn’t answer. Klaus was shaking out of his skin, which was clammy with sweat and his eyes were red and had huge bags under them. 

 

Luther thought he was high. 

 

Klaus almost laughed at the absurdity of the situation. For Luther, it had only been a day since he’d last seen Klaus. For Klaus it had been 10 months. Of course Luther would think he was high. 

 

“Klaus, are you serious? The world is ending in three days, and you’re off doing god knows what the entire night! You could have helped you know!”

 

“Since when do you want my help?”

 

“Since the apocalypse!” Luther all but yelled at Klaus, who didn’t as much as bat an eye. Really, he couldn't care less about the supposed ‘apocalypse’ and he was really over Luther yelling at him. His head was spinning, feeling like it was full of cotton and thundering away like a pig on the run. Back in ‘nam - back home, he almost caught himself thinking, because home had been with Dave - he had become so, so used to his brother-in-arms counting on him, that Luther’s belief and security in the fact that Klaus had been doing drugs all night, created a serious disconnect in his poor brain.

 

“Sure, the apocalypse, right. Well, sorry, but I just got back home from Vietnam, where my boyfriend died, so give me a few hours and i’m all yours, and we can go save the world or whatever.” He said with a wave of his hand, and as much sarcasm in his voice as he could muster. He walked in the direction of the door but before he could go very far Luther's hand found his shoulder and held him back. 

 

“Why do you always do this?” He asked, bristling with anger. Klaus could almost see it around him, curling like an angry snake about to bite. He stepped back a bit. 

 

“Do what exactly?”

 

“Create some stupid story about a war you don’t even know a thing about just so you can get some attention, for starters! What, you can’t handle the attention being on something else other than you for a while, so you just had to go get high so we would all worry about you? The joke is getting old Klaus!”

 

“Stop saying that.” Klaus all but whispered. He couldn’t believe this - he knew his brother was a huge piece of shit on a good day, but jesus christ, way to break records Luther. 

 

“Stop saying what?” Luther answered confused.

 

“That i’m high.”

 

“Well you are! You always are, and you’re never there when we need you!”

 

Something inside Klaus snapped, something that had been underway for his entire life, something ugly and massive and incomprehensible. 

 

“ _ I _ am never there for  _ you!? _ Where the fuck were you when I was being tortured for hours on end by those time-traveling freaks!? Where were you when a fucking  _ suitcase  _ brought me 51 years back in the past, huh!?” he screamed at his brother, not even noticing the hurt in his eyes.

 

“51 years- Klaus what have you-”

 

“I’ve been  _ gone _ , that’s what I have been doing, okay? And i’m also sober by the way, big fucking surprise, let’s throw a party.”

 

Luther laughed. He actually fucking  _ laughed _ at that, as if Klaus was a world-class comedian.

 

“You know, I was actually starting to believe you for a minute there Klaus, but you, sober? Right.” 

 

Klaus saw red. He saw red, the same way he saw red when he saw a vietnamese soldier raping a young girl back in ‘nam, and the same way he saw red when Rudford called him queer because of the way he painted his eyes, back at camp. 

 

He stepped up to Luther, stopped right before him, and stared him dead in the eyes.

 

“Fuck you Luther. Maybe, if you didn’t spend all your time with your tiny fucking head up dads ass you could see some sense in what i’m telling you, but no,” Klaus huffed a laugh, a ugly, miserable thing that forced it way out of his throat, “of course i’m lying, and making this all up for attention, and those military clothes by the bed, covered in blood is just an extra bonus, and these dog-tags,” he held said dog-tags up, “weren’t my dead boyfriend’s, they’re just some necklace I bought in an old vintage shop. Cause that's all  _ way _ more believable, than your junkie brother telling you the damn truth!”

 

“Klaus-”

 

“No! You know what? You and Allison can go have your weird incest-romance thing by yourself, and Five can go save the world for all i care, i’m out. Fuck this shit.”

 

And with those words he put the dog-tags around his neck, grabbed his still-dirty uniform jacket and walked out of the room, tears burning stupidly in his eyes. 

 

“Wait, Klaus-” he heard on his way out, but he didn’t even hesitate as he kept walking. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope u liked! Next chapter we'll meet Diego and Vanya, which im very excited for, cause they're very interesting characters to write. Hope I caught Luthers character okay - I hate him so it's hard to write him without that clouding my way haha


	3. everyone, I messed up again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I can't speak and I can't listen  
> And everyone is a curse or something worse  
> What can I say to the kid that made you  
> Complain and lie you were made to  
> When you hate every god I pray to
> 
> \- Why do you feel so down by Declan McKenna

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im actually totally blown away with how many kudos and comments I've gotten on this fic so far. It's been really fun to write, and it really helps me with missing the show, so im glad people are enjoying it as well!
> 
> also this chapter is pretty dialogue-heavy, so fair warning on that as well, otherwise it's a pretty tame chapter

As he walked down the hall he saw Mom and Pogo. They were in the middle of what looked like… and upgrade, maybe, of some sort. Really, he couldn’t be bothered to talk to any of them, so he just turned his head and walked on. Downstairs the chandelier was lying on the ground. He wondered how that happened. Diego walked by.

 

“What happened here?” he asked his brother curiously. Must have been from the fight, when those time-traveling freaks were here. 

 

Diego just huffed and said: “You look like shit.”

 

“Oh why, thank you. Hey, where you going?”

 

“Nope” Diego just said as he walked on by.

 

“What?”

 

“I’m not giving you a ride.”

 

Mostly fed up with his brothers’ bullshit for the day, Klaus did a very uncharastic thing. He said “okay.” and went his merry - or, less merry, more horrid and sad - way. He didn’t catch the confused look Diego gave the back of his neck as he made his way to the kitchen. The only thing he needed was a glass of water, and some food. He was starving.

 

Not much later he stood outside, in the sun and the warmth which felt so different here compared to Vietnam. He wondered about that - how could that be? ‘Nam had been sweltering heat, sweat dripping in his eyes and gun slipping his wet grip. Here, back home it was all warm cheeks and the smell of flowers and summer. He could hear the birds under the layers of car noise and could smell the grass, if he really tried. He had a faint idea of what he was going to do now, so he began walking, because one thing was certain: he wasn’t staying here. No more. 

 

He didn’t want to be the useless junkie son of a millionaire anymore, no more ex-superhero, no more failed boy wonder. He was done and over it and he wanted a taste of the sweet life. The kind of life him and Dave had planned. With a dog and 7 cats and a white picket fence and maybe even a kid or two. On a rare break or in the middle of the jungle, when they were watching out for the others while they slept, they talked about the future. About how much love those children would get, how they would never know about the hardships and neglect Klaus had been through or the unacceptance and violence that Dave had been through. 

 

Klaus sighed, those conversations a lightyear away, and now, they would never come through. But they had also talked about what was gonna happen if one of them didn’t make it out. They made a promise. A promise that the other person would live on, no matter what, and create a life of their own. “The sweet life” they would call it all smiles and crinkled eyes. 

 

Suddenly a car sped up beside him, almost blocking his path on the side of the road. A second later the door opened and a voice that was unmistakably Diego’s said: “Hop in.”

 

And Klaus did, gratefully. 

 

The ride was relatively quiet save the creaks of Diego's run-down car and the calming pitter-patter of rain that started to fall down outside. God, Klaus was happy he wasn’t out there getting drenched. Small wonders.

 

“You okay?” Diego asked, looking at his brother, who was leaning up at the window of the car, looking like a kicked puppy. 

 

Klaus didn’t reply. Wasn’t it obvious? No. No, he wasn’t okay. Not that he thought Diego would care.

 

After a minute Diego started talking again.

“Wow. This is a first. My Brother Klaus is silent.” He smiled humorlessly “Last time you were this quiet, we were 12. Ran down the stairs wearing Grace’s heels, tripped over, and broke your jaw.” 

 

Klaus would have probably smiled at the memory on any other day. But it wasn’t any other day so he just kept staring out at the rainy world, and felt sorry for himself. 

 

“How long was it wired shut again?” Diego continued.

 

Klaus thought about it for a few seconds. “Eight weeks” he replied. 

 

“Eight glorious weeks of bliss.” 

 

“Funny.” he said despite not laughing in the slightest, “where are you going again?” 

 

Diego frowned at the lack of response from his brother, who was being weird - well, weird in the sense that he  _ wasn’t _ weird, which was weird in itself. He wondered if he had taken some kind of meditative drug or something. But he didn’t have the usual tangy smell of drugs or the frankly, sickening smell of vodka on him, so he was probably mostly clean.

 

“Well  _ I’m  _ going to Vanya’s. Allison just texted me, something about the guy she’s seeing being sketchy.”

 

Klaus wrinkled his eyebrows in distaste.

 

“Since when do you care about any of our siblings?”

 

He knew it was a low blow, but frankly, Klaus didn’t give a rat’s ass at this point. It was what he was thinking, and Klaus always said was he was thinking, save for when he was around his siblings. Must be something about the abuse and neglect still hanging freshly in the air of the academy. It brought back forgotten memories of fear, and installed a respect in him yet again, just like those good old days.

Diego, to his credit, didn’t lash out at him, just gave him a concerned sideways glance and asked him: “Are you okay?” But, sincerely this time.

 

Klaus shrugged. He was never good at maintaining his stoicism around Diego, when he turned those puppy-eyes on him. He was the only one that had been there for Klaus, most of his life, before he gave up on him as well. Well, save Ben who- Wait, he was in the future again, so shouldn’t he be able to see Ben again? But he hadn’t, and his eyes teared up at the thought of his brother. His favorite brother; his little brother. 

 

He looked over at his other brother, and sighed.

 

“No,” he said, because it was true, “but right now I honestly just want to go help our little sister out. If anyone, she deserves a little love from her siblings.”

 

“Really? Even after all the shit she said about us in that ‘book’ of hers?” Diego said with an angry huff. Klaus rolled his eyes.

 

“Yeah, because all those things she wrote was true. ‘Number one’-,” he began, almost shivering himself at the mention and memory that the numbers brought to the surface. “Is super strong, sure, but he’s also a super asshole, the biggest really, right after dear daddy-o, and number two,” He could almost hear Diego roll his eyes, “is so self righteous and grumpy that I’m surprised you can go two steps without getting your face punched in.” The word ‘grumpy’ was said in a sigh, as Klaus leaned over in the car, pinching Diego's face like he was a petulant child. Diego swatted him away, as if he was an annoying fly or something, which - rude!

 

“Number three is so used to getting her way that it ruined her marriage, which sucks balls cause i really wanna meet her kid. And,” He clapped his hands together, being just a tad dramatic, “Number four. What’s there to say about little old me? Well, for starters, Junkie, with a big J. Well I  _ used _ to be, but I don’t think I’ve earned running away from that nickname quite yet. Then there’s number five-”

 

“What what do you mean you  _ used to be _ ? I saw you smoking yesterday.”

 

Klaus rolled his eyes. Again. If he continued this way, he was afraid his eyes would get stuck. “Well my memory is a bit loose even on a good day, which today definitely isn’t, but sure - I probably smoked something in  _ your  _ yesterday.  _ My  _ yesterday, however, included a nice walk in the Vietnamese jungle, on our way to the next meeting point.”

 

Diego gave him a weird look, not saying anything, so Klaus took that as a clue to keep talking.

 

“Those time-traveling buddies of Five's? Yesterday, when they couldn’t find Five, they took me hostage instead. Your friend, the lady-cop, she saved me, and I bounced as fast as humanly possible, stealing those fuckers suitcase, cause they were always carrying it around like it was something important. I thought there would be money in it or something I could pawn, so I opened it, and boom, I’m in 1968.” Klaus took a long breath after that. It was nice finally being listened to, and if Diego believed him, the rest of his sibling probably would too. Diego kind of functioned as the voice of reason, being number two and all. 

 

“You-,  _ time-traveled?” _ He asked, puzzled, “Well that explains a lot. How long were you gone?"

 

“Ten months, I think.” Klaus shrugged. Diego just stared at him in pure shock. 

 

“ _ Ten months _ ?  _ Jesus _ , Klaus. And you fought in a war?” 

 

He nodded.

 

“In  _ Vietnam? _ ”

 

Klaus nodded again. And then he smiled. Just a bit. It was nice seeing Diego again. In that moment, he promised himself that he would be better with his siblings. Especially Vanya. Both of them had always been kind of the black sheep in the family, Vanya with her lack of powers and Klaus with his resistance of learning about his. After all, he promised Dave he would have the sweet life, so why not bring his siblings with him to that life? 

 

Except Luther. 

 

Luther could suck his fucking picasso. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter I promise we'll meet Vanya, but Diego and Klaus' conversation just kinda happened to get really long. probably because I really love their dynamic. also I just want all of them to be on good terms with each other, so im making my own dreams come true, little by little.
> 
> also, if there's anything im writing that is incorrect or in any way doesn't correlate with canon, know that I don't really care. im just writing for fun, so I don't really care if everything im writing is totally realistic haha


	4. a fractured wrist and a broken heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I thought to myself that now is time to choose  
> I can pick myself up or I can give in to the blues  
> So I swore in my heart that I was never gonna lose  
> I would crawl until I made it cause I got something to prove  
> \- worst day of my life by Alec Benjamin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really recommend checking the songs in the chapter summary out, they're all very good, and give me Dave/Klaus feels, and I basically play them on repeat when playing.
> 
> This chapter is kinda short, but im planning on the next one being really long, because I'm free from school tomorrow so I just have a bit of exam stuff I need get outta the way, and then I can just write right on

Later, when they arrived, just as Diego was going to go with him into the apartment, Klaus stopped him: “I think it’s best I do this alone. Besides, I need someplace to stay for a few days anyway.”

 

“You can stay in the academy Klaus, you know that.” Diego replied with a confused crinkle in his brows. 

 

Klaus shook his head at the words. “I really can’t, not right now.” He said and smiled tightly, looking so vulnerable that Diego wanted to wrap him up in a blanket and feed him warm chocolate and cookies. 

 

Instead he just said “okay” and promised himself he would check up on his brother in a few days, as he walked back to his car and drove away.

 

That just left Klaus, who was slowly getting soaked by the violent drops of water now falling steadily from above. He had a vague idea about where Vanya lived - generally he had a vague idea about where each of his sibling lived after they moved out - but he had never been here before. Therefore it took him a few minutes before he finally found out which floor she lived on. Number 7 it seemed, lived on floor number 7. Klaus chuckles a bit at that. His sister had some sense of humor. 

 

The ride in the elevator took less time than he thought it would, and there was no generic elevator-music on the way up. Klaus got a bad feeling, like it was the quiet before the storm. He really wanted to feel happy for Vanya and her new relationship, and he hoped Allison’s suspicions was just that: suspicions, with no real evidence. Klaus knew, from past experiences, that people who grew up like they had, sometimes had a hard time differentiating love from abuse. Or maybe it was just him that was fucked up - who knows these days?

 

He steps out of the elevator and looks around in the small hall. The walls are a boring grey and the only things decorating the walls is a single, and disturbing picture of a forest at night. Klaus frowns at it as he walks by.  All in all, it’s not a bad place, it’s just not really what Klaus had expected. Then again - how well did he even know his sister? 

 

He knocked gently on the white door that signaled, that this was it, here one Vanya Hargreeves lived. He heard a bit of shuffling on the other side, and the door opened to show a stressed Vanya.

 

“Hey, I’m sorry, but your cat’s not here mrs-”

 

“Hey Vanya” Klaus interrupted and couldn’t help but smile at the sight. Vanya had half a toast still in her mouth, muffling the hastily spoken words and her cheeks were glowing a pretty pink and - was that makeup? Klaus kind of admired a guy that could make Vanya wear makeup. Hell, he had tried making her their entire lives. Just so he could paint her pretty face with his own makeup. Allison never allowed him to put makeup on her either.

 

“Oh. Klaus. Is everything okay?” 

 

Klaus kind of hated the fact that that was what his sister immediately jumped to conclusion. He really had been a shitty brother, hadn’t he?

 

“Well yes, officially everything is okay, save the apocalypse and all. I just really wanted to spend some quality time with my favorite sister,” he said the word “favorite” with a wink that made Vanya smile, “and I also need a place to stay for a bit? I can’t handle being in the same house as Luther anymore.”

 

Vanya laughed at that. “Tell me about it.” She said and they both giggled a bit. She made a come-hither motion with her hand and opened the door completely, so he could make his way inside. It was way cosier inside than it had been out in the hall, and everything was so distinctively  _ Vanya _ that it made him remember fond memories of putting nail polish on each others nails in Vanya’s room back when they were younger.  _ Much  _ younger.

 

“I like the place.”

 

Vanya lit up. “Really?” she said, “I got most of the furniture from ikea actually.”

 

“And Ikea is a beautiful place, that should not be bad-mouthed.”

 

“Agreed,” Vanya says swiftly, and her voice is quiet, reverent and Klaus is always surprised at the sound of it. He’s always picturing another sound to come out, a voice full of smiles and laughs, because she looks like a person who could be happy. Who  _ should  _ be happy. Besides, it seems unfair that the only good sound Vanya should be able to make is with her hands when playing violin.

 

She’s a soft person, much like Dave was a soft person, and so kind that it aches in his heart, because he’s happy he’s here with her, he really is, but he also really wants to be in Connecticut with Dave 40 years in the past. He wants to be in Europe with him, in a small apartment in France, because Dave always liked Klaus’ stories about Paris. He wants to be a farmer in the south, slowly getting an accent and chatting in the local shops with the 60-year-old ladies who come there to buy their daily groceries, before coming home to his sweetheart. He wants all of that, but he can’t have it, so he shakes the bittersweet thoughts off and concentrates on his sister. 

 

She walks over to her kitchen, and starts to make some tea for the both of them. Klaus makes himself at home in the meantime, plopping down on the very cozy ikea couch, in the back of the room. For a while he just looks around. The walls are bare, save a painting and a clock, but the room is tastefully decorated, with a violin carefully planted on what looks like it’s own little table. Cute.

 

“So, the apocalypse huh?” Vanya says, coming over with two steaming cups of tea, “Five told you too.”

 

And really, Klaus isn’t surprised that Five told her first. Those two were always close when they were younger, an odd pair for sure. 

 

“Yeah, but I just came home from a trip of my own, so I’m not really concerned with all of that right now.” He said and waved his “goodbye” hand in a dismissing motion and took a sip of his tea. Fuck, it was so hot. He took another sip. It was still far too hot. Funny how that works.

 

“A trip?” Vanya prompts.

 

“To the past. Meet some lovely people really, but it was just a tad too hot for me.” 

 

“Which year did you end up in?”

 

Klaus tells her. He tells her everything, because Vanya is kind, and a very good listener and she never looks at him with disgust or disbelief. Vanya is kind, and she reminds him of Dave, and he misses Dave so terribly even though it’s barely been a day since he died, so he tells her everything.

 

After he’s finished they sit in silence for a while, before Vanya breaks it which a sentence that makes Klaus head spin.

 

“Can’t you conjure him though? You said you were sober right? As far as I can remember you used to be good at conjuring spirits, especially the ones that wanted to be conjured. You could say goodbye to him.” Her words were quiet and felt like the equivalent of a tear on a cheek, like a bone-deep longing finally coming to an end.

 

For a while he just stares at his hands that rest between his legs. Turns the hand with the  _ hello _ -words on, and then the other. Looks at the small scars gathered on his thumb and on his arm, after some scrapel hit him in a bomb-attack they barely made it out alive of. 

 

Then he looks at his sister in shock. 

 

“You’re right,” he says, with absolute wonder is his voice, his green eyes lighting up like a christmas tree. “I can just… conjure him.”

 

“Yeah” she smiles.

 

Then he gets up and does something he hasn’t done in a long,  _ long  _ while. He hugs his youngest sister, and Vanya clings to him like a child. He thinks he even feels the wetness of a tear gathering on his chest where her head is nuzzled. It doesn’t bother him - he’s crying himself. They stand there for a long while, just breathing and crying, and it seems like all those years of not talking, that began when they were so young, that Klaus barely has any memories of them together, blend into nothingness. A new beginning is created and Klaus has to physically force himself out of her grip as he looks at her with a wicked grin.

 

“I’ll go conjure my dead boyfriend, but afterwards, you know what we’re gonna do?” He asks with a smile so bright that Vanya can’t do anything else other than answer it with a smile of her own. She shakes her head weakly.

 

“We’re gonna paint each others nails!” He says with something close to a squeal.

 

“Deal” Vanya answers wetly and they pinky-promise, just for good measures. 

 

***

 

The room was quiet, and he was the only person there for once. His sister had gone out shopping, promising him a big meal for dinner, and surprisingly, no one had died in this particular apartment so no ghosts were roaming around either. 

 

Klaus was sitting on a pillot on the floor which had heat installed, so it was actually kind of pleasant. Eyes closed and breath steady he began thinking back. Back at the very first night he had arrived in camp, in just a towel and a suitcase. He thinks about Dave, and how cute he had looked back then, recently woken and still sleep-fuzzy, all big eyes, and confused frown. He thinks about the disco, and the day after the disco when Dave told him he loved him for the first time. He thinks about Dave after a really bad nightmare, something about a little child who had been the victim of a bomb-attack several weeks earlier. Dave still saw the little boy in his dreams, and Klaus still saw the boy right behind Dave, following him around like a magnet. Two days later, and the boy had disappeared. Dave had no more nightmares after that, well, at least none starring the poor kid. 

 

Suddenly something happened. The air in the room shifted and became something close to static and Klaus dared to open his eyes just a little, preparing to be disappointed, but with hope in his chest nonetheless. 

 

And there he is.

 

“Dave.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo yeah. Ben is coming btw, I know none of ya'll have asked for him, but I love him and I miss him. I'am just too busy giving Vanya some love, to have time to love Ben as well lmao.
> 
> also - the places that Klaus wishes he could be with Dave are all things they've talked about when planning what they were gonna do when they got home from the war. And I have been deliberately vague when writing about Vietnam cause I know nothing about it, nor about the Vietnam war in general. 
> 
> Also - thanks to all the wonderful and kind people leaving the wonderful comments!! im not exaggerating when I say they really make my day, and want me to keep in writing this pic for eternity. Also - feel free to suggest anythings you'd like to see in this pic, I'll try to make it a reality in the perimeters of the plot of course! :D


	5. but your love was unmoved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The highs hit the heights of my baby  
> And its hold had the fight of my baby  
> And the lights were as bright as my baby  
> But your love was unmoved  
> \- as it was by Hozier

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, so, so very sorry that this wasn't out earlier. Turns out working 20 hours in a weekend makes you tired and unproductive! Who would have thought? The good thing is that he just turned my exam synopsis in, so that finally out of the way. And also!! Very exciting news, because I'm going to Copenhagen with my class on thursday, and it's gonna be so fuuuuun
> 
> Anyways, enjoy the chapter (there's Ben, as promised ;)

He did it. Oh my god, he really did it! Klaus scrambled up almost falling over his own legs at the motion, but he didn't care. Dave was  _ right there.  _

 

“Klaus.” Dave said with such tenderness that it hurt something deep inside Klaus chest. It felt like a lifetime since he last heard that word, from those lips, and he couldn’t help reaching out for Dave, getting a sick, stinking feeling of disappointment when his hand went right through Dave's cheek. He  _ knew  _ couldn’t touch Dave, had never been able to touch Ben either, no matter how much he’d like to, so it didn’t come as a surprise. Still, it hurt something awful. 

 

“I- I’m sorry Dave, i’m sorry i didn’t notice, and then it was too late- and if I’d just  _ noticed _ you’d-”

 

“Hey hey, none of that now. I’m here, aren’t I? I’m okay - we’re okay.”

 

Klaus laughs at that, an ugly inharmonious sound that's almost forced out of him. 

“Yeah, we’re just peachy - you’re  _ dead _ and I’m back in the middle of the most dysfunctional family on earth. I would rather put up with more of Smith’s pick up stories than this Dave.”

 

Dave snorted.

 

“That bad huh?” 

 

“Yeah. That bad.” Klaus paused for a bit, “I’ve missed you, you know?”

 

Dave’s face softened and his lips stretched in a big smile. He was still so beautiful, looked exactly like he had done this morning, save the big, gaping and bloody wound in the middle of his chest where the bullet had hit. 

 

“I’ve missed you too Klaus. Never thought I’d see you again, it’s been so long.”

 

“Yeah, sorry about that. Thought I would go back to my family, didn’t really realise how that would affect you.” Klaus said with regret visible in his voice. 

 

“Well I’ve just been up there,” Dave motioned to the heaven above and smiled, “So it’s not been too bad really. My family's mostly there now, and they’re really looking forward to meeting you - I haven’t been able to shut up about you.”

 

Klaus laughed and was about to caress Dave’s arm, when he remembered he couldn’t. Instead he said: “Yeah? You’re gonna take me to meet your parents?”

 

“Well, when it’s time.”

 

Klaus looked at the floor. His chest felt like it was going to explode with emotions he couldn’t control. Everything was a mess. He was lucky - he knew he was. After all he could still see people when they died, and that was much more than everybody else could. He was lucky, and he knew that, but as he was standing in front of the love of his life, unable to touch him, he didn’t feel all that lucky. 

 

He sat down on Vanya’s bed that was as dull and gray as it could be. He made a mental note to take his sister shopping for new bed sheets, as this would just not do.

“We could have had that you know?” He sighed, and looked down at his hands as Dave sat down next to him, and Klaus could almost imagine the heat of him, as close as he was. “All that normal stuff - the anniversaries, the awkward first dates, the whole meeting-the-parents thing.”

 

“We had enough.”

 

Klaus laughed bitterly. “Really?”

 

“I know you’re from the future and that things are different there, but when I was young, being queer was the kinda thing that would get your ass beat. Meeting you, even having the opportunity to find a love like that, hell, i’m luckier than most, just because of that.”

 

Klaus couldn’t help but smile at that. Dave was always so free with his feelings and he talked openly and often about them - a fact that surprised Klaus, because Dave had grown up being shamed for his sexuality and feeling worthless because of his inability to love women. He had never really accepted that he couldn’t give his mother the grandchildren she really wanted, and he would never be able to be free, like Klaus was.

 

So, in many ways, Klaus was the lucky one, not Dave. He could pick and mix which reality he wanted to live in, hell, he could have the best of both worlds even. And because of that fact he decided to suck it up, and treasure the gift he’d been given. Dave was here now, he didn’t want to waste it.

 

A smile forced its way on his lips as he looked up into the hazel eyes he knew so well. The eyes he’d spent hours staring and getting lost in. 

 

“I love you” he said in a sigh, and he really wished he could kiss him, as he leaned his head down, as if he was resting his head on Dave’s shoulder. See, Klaus had never been able to touch ghosts. A fact he had been eternally grateful when he was younger and was even more terrified of the ghosts. Especially in the mausoleum, Klaus had thanked his lucky stars that the mortifying things in there couldn’t touch him, couldn’t hurt him, like he knew they wanted too. Later, when Ben died, he wanted nothing more than to touch his brother, bring him in for a hug or a friendly clap on the shoulder. His entire life, he hadn’t been able to touch the ghosts haunting him, friendly or not. 

 

So, imagine the shock, when his head didn’t stop at the imaginary denseness of a shoulder, but an  _ actual _ shoulder. It was a little cold, sure, but it was there. As solid as anything else in the room, as real as Klaus himself.

 

Klaus head spun up so hastily that he thought he heard a smeck in his neck at the sudden motion, but he didn’t care one bit. Dave’s eyes reflected Klaus’ own surprise, and Klaus laughed out loud, triumphantly, before he threw himself over his lover, burying his mouth in his. Dave tasted a little chilly but the feel of his lips where the same as ever and the heat that spread in Klaus body was also the same. 

 

What felt like an eternity later they separated, a little out of breath, and a whole lot in love. First there, as the surprise and relief evaporated a little, did Klaus notice the steady blue glow emanating from his hands. 

 

“Well, that’s new.”

 

And Dave, bless his soul, laughed out loud at his words and the sound was so full of joy and happiness that Klaus couldn’t help but join him.

 

A long while later, after they had talked and talked, and then talked some more, and the sun was beginning to go down in the east, taking the light from the window with it, did the telltale sound of door opening bring the news of Vanya’s return. She had been gone for a long time, and Klaus asked her about it as soon as she knocked on the door to her very own room, that Klaus had stayed in.

 

“I met up with a friend of mine, and we grabbed a cup of coffee, I hope you don’t mind.” she said as she opened the door to the bedroom and stopped in shock. 

 

“H-Hello.” she stuttered, and Klaus stared at her in confusion before he noticed that she wasn’t looking at him. She was looking at Dave. Dave who she wasn’t even supposed to be able to see.

 

Dave, ever the gentleman, just answered: “Hello miss, my name’s Dave, nice to make your acquaintance.” and shook her hand.

 

“You can see him?” Klaus had to ask, and Vanya nodded shakily.

 

“And i can see her.” Dave said, and Klaus ignored him with a roll of his eyes. Then he grinned wickedly. 

 

“Seems this whole sobriety thing was worth it after all.” 

 

Vanya smiled at him softly, and Dave laughed, and muttered a quiet “told you so.” before Vanya retreated into the kitchen.

 

“I’ve bought stuff for tortillas, that was your favorite when we were kids right?” She said, as kind as ever. Klaus followed her into the kitchen and Dave was close behind him, their hands clasped together.

 

“It was.” Klaus said, starstruck, and his mind quickly raised Vanya to the top of his favorite siblings. He fucking  _ loved  _ tortillas. 

 

“Do you want to join us for dinner Dave?” She asked then, but before Dave could answer, Klaus did.

 

“Dave can’t eat food, sister dear, because he is in fact, very much dead,” a sudden thought crept into Klaus mind, “Wait, does that mean I’ve been making out with a dead person?” he said in mock offense and put his tongue out in a scowl. 

 

Dave pushed him playfully and Vanya giggled at them, a pretty bright brush on her cheeks after the walk outside, but she wasn’t wet, so the rain must have stopped. 

 

“You look more like a corpse than me Klaus.” Dave said.

 

“Rude!”

 

***

 

The night continued like that, a pleasant atmosphere, and as the moon returned to take its rightful place on the sky, so did the rain. It was cozy and nice, and it reminded him of the few times they had had movie nights as kids, when dad was gone on some business trip or whatever. They would watch “alien” and tease Ben for his likeness to the monster, and when it got scary the girls would press into Klaus for support, because they knew he wouldn’t tease them for it. This felt like that, because they were watching a shitty horror movie, and Klaus wasn’t afraid, he’d seen much worse in his early life and in the war after all, but Vanya was scared, he could tell. So they ended up under a wool blanket, Dave pressed to his right side and Vanya to his left. It was cozy, and warm, and he felt more safe than he had done in the war. For the first time in 10 months Klaus let himself relax, and started the road away from war.

 

Maybe it was the memory of movie-night as kids that was to blame, or maybe Klaus just had a really overachieving piece-of-shit-brain that wanted more than anything to make him suffer even in slumber. No matter the reason, there it was, a nightmare.

 

Everything had been going so well up until then though. Vanya had dozed off so Klaus had quietly carried her off to bed, and Dave had stayed with him on the couch holding his hand as Klaus fell asleep as well. 

 

But now he was in the middle of the war again, guns blazing and bombs exploding and everything was  _ so loud _ . He hid behind a tree, that almost didn’t shield his entire body, and he couldn’t for the life of him find Dave, and he worried so much he thought his heart would explode along with the bombs. Beside him a young kid who just got there - Klaus vaguely remembered him as Christian - had his brains blown out, and a bit of blood and gore found its way to Klaus. 

 

When he looked behind him, scouting for the shooter, Klaus almost had a heart attack. Ben was standing right there, no cover whatsoever, out in the open. He could have just as well carried a sign that said “shoot me”.

 

“BEN!” Klaus bellowed in desperation. “Get out of there you moron!”

 

Ben didn’t move, he just stood there, and Klaus was panicking, full-out can’t-breath-can’t-think-panicking. What the everloving  _ fuck  _ was he doing!?

 

“Ben! HEY!” He tried again, lip quivering as he tried to keep the tears at bay, and he could only watch as a bullet found its way into Ben’s chest. Klaus didn’t think, he just ran to his brother, yelling all the while, and threw himself on the ground next to the limp body.

 

He turned Ben and looked at the bullet, that had hit him directly in the chest. Ben’s eyes were heavy and half-lidded, and he had a small frown on his lips. 

 

“No no no no no, Ben, no, don’t you dare, don’t you  _ fucking dare _ !” He sobbed, clinging to his brother, all the while the bullets shot around over him. 

 

“Don’t leave me, don’t leave me, no no no, come back, come back, Ben-” 

 

“Klaus.” 

 

Klaus heard his voice, and opened his eyes in relief. His brother was alive, he was- Still dead, his eyes still closed, his lungs no longer getting air. 

 

“Klaus” 

 

The sound of his voice was there again, but Ben’s lips weren’t moving.

 

“Klaus! Wake up!”

 

And he did. And Ben was right in front of him, as Klaus bolted off the couch, and scrambled to the floor in surprise.

 

“Ben!”

 

“Klaus - where the fuck have you been?”

 

Klaus, who was very confused, and still half asleep couldn’t help but just tell him the truth. 

 

“Vietnam, during the war.”

 

Ben, who had been very upset, and quite frankly, terrifying, paused for a moment.

 

“Shit man - you okay?”

 

Klaus nodded, still very much confused. Tired too. Very tired. Still, he tried to focus on his reappearing brother, whom he had not seen in almost a year, and had missed more than he would ever admit. 

 

“I’ve been trying to contact you for forever! Seems like you dropped off the grid completely, I thought you were- Nevermind! I learned something Klaus!” 

 

“What?” 

 

“Well it seems like when you aren’t around, there really nothing binding me too the realm of the living, and I was thrown into, heaven, or some place or anything, and I was lucky enough to ran into our old man.”

 

“Wait, you met dad? In  _ heaven _ ?” Klaus asked incredulously. 

 

“Yeah I know, it’s crazy, but there’s more-”

 

“No, what’s crazy is that dad’s in heaven. Are they just letting everyone in nowadays? Did you happen to meet Hitler as well?” 

 

Ben laughed, “Klaus listen, this is actually important, okay? When i was there, we talked, and other than a little speech about how i was a disappointment, he also told me that he faked his own death.” He said, voice getting higher with every word, until it was bordering on hysteric. 

 

“Dad… committed suicide?  _ Why? _ ” Klaus replied, getting serious and a bit invested into this whole thing. Sure, dad was a fucking asshole, but he was still their dad. He didn’t know what to think of this supposed suicide-act of his.

 

“To bring us all together. That’s all he got to say before I ended up here in- where are we anyway?” Ben said, still freaked out, now looking all around the small apartment.

 

“Vanya’s place, I had a big fall-out with Luther.” 

 

“Yeah, well, Luther’s an asshole.” Ben muttered and sat down on the couch, and Klaus had the thought that maybe, just maybe, he should get off the damn floor and into the soft sofa. He did so. Then he laughed a bit, because he’d forgotten how much he enjoyed Ben’s little sarcastic quips. 

 

Klaus sighed and laid down on the couch again, looking at Ben with half-closed eyes, and a yawn. “It was nice seeing you bro, but can we continue this convo tomorrow? I’m beat. I have a lot to tell you though.” 

 

Ben sighed, “I bet you do.” he smiled.

 

Klaus closed his eyes, and it wasn’t long until he was back in dreamland. Luckily he didn’t dream anything else the entire night. 

 

Small victories. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Really wanna write some kinda dirty stuff including our fav war boys - anyone would like that?
> 
> Also I'm on Tumblr as kindasickkindacool if you wanna chat!


	6. I'll look you in the face and say, "Where's your home?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wonder if I tell 'em what I did last night  
> Whether or not I got caught, they just might  
> Wage war on you, therefore it's true  
> That I shot my general on my side of enemy lines  
> \- clear by twenty one pilots

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im home! Hope you missed me. Have a short chapter, because the next one is gonna be very action packed with some much-needed bad guy butt kicking :D

The morning arrived with the gentle tap of his sisters finger on his arm. Slowly, and groggily he opened his sleepy eyes, and stared directly into her wide eyes. She was holding a phone in her hands and silently handed it to him.

 

“Hello?” Klaus mumbled hoarsely and a shudder ran through him. In the middle of the night the blanket had fallen off and now he was shirtless and cold. Absentmindedly he grabbed his shirt from where he’d tossed it the day before. 

 

“Oh good, you’re up,” said a voice on the other end, which unmistakably belonged to Luther, “We need to talk.” 

 

Klaus sighed before numbly muttering an angry sentence to his least favorite brother: “Yeah, that sounds like a real rager, but my schedule’s already chock-full.” 

 

It was true, Vanya had been at the audition for first chair yesterday and she got the part, so they had planned to celebrate, going out to dinner with Vanya’s “friend” so he and Klaus could finally meet. 

 

“Yeah, no time for that. The world’s ending in three days.” Luther replied dismissively. Klaus wondered if he even felt the least bad about their argument or if he didn’t care at all. He sure didn’t sound like he cared. He probably thought Klaus had ran of to get high and had forgotten about their little argument. 

 

“Fine,” He said, and could almost picture Luther hanging up on him, not bothering to talk to him after getting what he wanted, and quickly said: “But I’m bringing Vanya along as well.” 

 

Before Luther could answer, Klaus hanged up on  _ him  _ and damn if that didn’t feel amazing. He smiled to himself and looked up, searching for Ben. He had been there last night, hadn’t he? And Dave too, he realized with a surge of warmth in his chest. Instead of Ben though, he found Vanya staring at him in wonder. Absolut wonder. Klaus didn’t really get it, what was she so happy about?

 

“I- eh, well, it’s just,” Vanya stuttered, looking beyond awkward, with her hair hanging low and fuzzy and cheeks red from sleep, “I’m not usually invited along for family things.”

 

He shot her a bright smile, “Well, apparently it only took the end of the word to make your stupid siblings - me included - invite you along.”

 

***

 

They were meeting up in the living room of the academy, but out of spite Klaus took as long as he could to get ready. Took a long - but not too long, cause there had to be warm water for Vanya as well - bath, and really took his time shaving and making himself look nice. Had to dress well for the end of the word after all. He borrowed a toothbrush from Vanya along with a skirt that was a bit too big on Vanya and even hanged a bit off his own waist as well, and a dull red shirt. Over it, was his military jacket and of course, the dog tags, which he kissed a last time before heading out of the bathroom.  

 

Vanya had prepared a hearty breakfast consisting of toast, eggs and bacon. Klaus would have much preferred to wake up to the smell of that instead of the annoying voice of his oldest brother. 

 

Still, it was tasty, and the cozy atmosphere from last night returned. It was incredible, really, how well they could ignore the threat of the end of the world. Klaus wasn’t really scared. He had died before after all, and apparently there was a heaven, and if dad could get in, he figured they had low enough standards to allow him in as well.

 

Finally they were ready to go and headed out to a beautiful day.

 

***

 

“Three days?” Allison said, handing a cup of coffee to Luther, who sat on the bar stool, looking out on all of them when Klaus and Vanya arrived at the scene.

 

“That’s what five said.” 

 

Diego, who sat in one of the couches, was also given a coffee and Klaus and Vanya each took one when they made their way to the opposing couch, Klaus sitting on the floor, naturally. 

 

“The old bastard did mention the apocalypse, come to think of it. He just left out the part about how soon.” Klaus said, voice dripping with sarcasm. Diego gave him side eyes at the reply, and Luther out-right ignored him. Vanya said nothing, just sipped her too-hot coffee. 

 

“But can we trust him?” Allison said, as always the voice of reason, “I don’t know if you’ve noticed but Five’s a little…” she whistles, making a circling motion with her index finger at her ear

Klaus chuckled at that, glancing up at Vanya, who starred uneasy at Luther. Allison gave her a smile when she caught her look. Vanya visibly relaxed.

 

“Out little psycho.” Klaus said, trying to loosen the atmosphere up a bit. 

 

Luther sighed, “He was pretty convincing,” and stared annoyed at Klaus and Vanya. Klaus had the vague idea that the only reason that he was there - and therefor Vanya as well - was because Allison or Diego had wanted them to be. Obviously Luther still saw Klaus as an attention-seeking druggie. Klaus seriously started to regret wanting to make up with his siblings, and nonetheless, more important things were at stake at the moment. 

 

“And,” Luther continued, “If he wasn’t trying to to stop an apocalypse from happening, those two lunatics wouldn't be chasing him.” 

 

Klaus shivers at the mention of them, and he just knows that Vanya is looking at him with those big, sad eyes of hers, and that makes everything a little better. At some point, Ben appears and Klaus feels as if a huge burden is lifted off his shoulders. So he didn’t imagine him last night. That was good. 

 

“That’s why they were after him?” Diego said, glancing at Klaus as well, and Klaus was really off filter today, because he felt grateful tears prickle in his eyes. Were his sibling always so nice to him, or was that a new development? 

 

“Yeah” Luther said.

 

“What did Five even see?” Allison asked. 

 

Klaus, who hadn’t really been listening, glanced up at the sudden silence from Luther's end.

 

“Uh… Apparently, we all fought together against whoever was responsible.” He finally said awkwardly, nodding to himself and glancing nervously at his siblings. Klaus and Ben shared a look between them. Luther was hiding something, and whatever it was. it was something bad. 

 

They all waited for him to continue talking, but instead Luther clicked his tongue and got up from where he was sitting, and paced around. “Okay. So here’s the plan. Uh- he go through dad’s research-” 

 

“Wait, what?” 

 

“Hold up, hold up-”

 

“Wait a tick, wait a tick, wait a tick-” Klaus finally said, silencing the  myriad of voices coming from each sides of the room, “What actually happened the first time around?”

 

“Yeah,” Diego said, “What are you not telling us?”

 

Luther’s face was the definition of a kicked puppy. Diego decided to kick the poor thing some more.

 

“Come on, big boy, spit it out.” 

 

Luther looked down at the coffee in his hands, as if it could help him out of the situation. It couldn’t, and they all continued to stare at him expectantly. He finally sighed, before hastily saying: “We died.” and sipped his coffee. 

 

“What was that?” Allison prompted.

 

Luther coughed, and replied, less than smoothly: “I said, uh, we died.”

 

They just stared at him.

  
  


***

 

After all was said and done, they decided to wait until Five returned. They had no leads - save Luther’s stupid suggestion about it having something to do about the moon - and really, where would they even start? Diego went his merry way instantly, going out to search for the assassins, and Klaus would have gone after him, but he seemed to have bit of a problem with loud noises at the moment, and he had that date with Vanya and her boyfriend later, so, no could do. 

 

Klaus went right after, not even bothering to give his stupidest brother an excuse, and Luther didn’t even ask Vanya about what she thought. Again, Klaus wondered if they had always been this mean to her, as exclusive, and if he had just now found out. He felt bad about it, but it wasn’t as if he hadn’t had problems of his own to deal with, growing up- 

On the way out of the Academy, he grabbed his dog tags, missing Dave so much he could barely breathe for a moment, before he left the mansion he thought of as home less and less.

 

Then he smiled - they had a dinner to attend to, and that meant shopping!

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Thank you all (again!) for the sweet comments, you all are so nice, that I could literally cry <3 You really make me want to just churn out chapters like crazy lmao. Please, if you have any kind of scene you want to see, just say so and I'll try to incorporate that into the story!
> 
> Also!! Im on Tumblr as Kindasickkindacool, and I would love to chat to you guys about umbrella academy or Klaus and Dave or anything at all!


	7. I'm that bad type

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Think you're so criminal  
> Bruises on both my knees for you  
> Don't say thank you or please  
> I do what I want when I'm wanting to  
> \- bad guy by Billie Eilish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Talk about depression, PTSD, a panic attack, and mentions of disordered eating.
> 
> hope you enjoy lmao

It turned out that shopping with Vanya was quite pleasant, one might even call it… fun. She was shy and timid at first, obviously not used to splurging on anything other than what was absolutely necessary, but as they went from shop to shop she loosened up noticeably. Klaus would have absolutely loved to splurge and really let loose with his money, but unfortunately, he didn’t have any. Despite getting paid every month while he was in Vietnam, the money was now nowhere to be seen, probably still in the last camp they set up before Klaus disappeared for good. He hoped some of the other guys had some use for the money at least. 

 

So, yeah, he would love to actually use some of his hard-earned money, but he couldn’t and that sucked, sure, but at least he could force his sister to use some of her inheritance on something other than a broken pipe or a new holder for her violin. It was a tough job at first, getting Vanya to try on clothes and even buy them, but in the end, they were giggling around the ladies section, scooping up way too much clothes - most of it ugly and weird-looking - before stumbling to the fitting room. There, they used most of the time cat-walking, and showing off one ridiculous outfit after the other, Klaus making obscene gestures in the mirror and making Vanya laugh. 

 

It was a nice distraction. Both from the ever-missing piece of his heart named Dave, and from the memories of bombs and guns still ever-present in the back of his mind. Vanya noticed it too - how he walked like a man on a mission, looking around him, taking hold of his surroundings, so he’d be able to escape instantly at a moments notice. She’d seen veterans before, and all of them had that same haunted look in their eyes. She never thought she would see that look on her own brother, and it made her more sad than she could ever say. Klaus had always been the soft one of the group, the one trying to make everyone happy, even when he himself was sad. He’d been excluding her, much like the others had, but she couldn’t bring herself to mad, because she knew he hadn’t done it out of hate, but because he simply had more than enough of his own problems to deal with. It was a shame, she thought, how the two of them had drifted away from each other instead of bonding over their respective problems. 

 

When Vanya was 19, freshly moved out of the Academy, she went to her first appointment with a psychologist and was diagnosed with depression. It didn’t bother her, after all it was just another pill to take with the other one, but it did explain a lot of things. How she didn’t move from her bed on days on end, and how she never really smiled anymore. She used to smile a lot more when she was younger, despite her childhood, and she finally knew why.

 

She looked at Klaus now, throwing his head back and winking at his reflection in the mirror, and she thought back to how he used to be exactly like her. How mom would try to get him out of bed, always so gentle, before dad would come and force him. How Klaus would be so sluggish on these days, almost sickly, and he never talked to any of them. She wondered if he had a mental disorder as well, if thats why he turned to the drugs, or if she was just projecting her own feelings onto her brother. She thought it would be nice to have someone to talk to about these kinds of thing, beside her psychologist, and felt bad about even thinking it. Still, it wouldn’t hurt to tell him, and maybe, he would feel comfortable enough to share some stuff of his own. She smiled to herself, as they made their way to the cashier, that would be nice. 

 

The final result of their shopping trip was three shirts, a pair of dr martens boots that Klaus forced Vanya to buy, a belt with hearts in the back, and a long, black skirt for Klaus. Vanya also bought him a nice floral blouse to wear to the date tonight, which Klaus promised to pay her back for. Vanya just smiled in reply. 

 

They decided to take the bus home, and save themselves the rather long walk. The bus arrived just as they came to the bus stop, and they still had a few hours before they were supposed to meet up with Leonard at a local restaurant. They didn’t go very far though, because as soon as Klaus stepped foot in the vehicle his blood turned to ice, and the only sound he could hear was his heart beating loudly in his chest.

He didn’t say anything, much less to his confused sister, as he bolted out of there, as a blind panic overtook him. He was running on instincts and his instincts said that the bus was a very,  _ very  _ bad place, and he needed to get the hell away from there  _ now. _

 

So that’s how he ended up on the cold ground as he scrambled back, finally hitting something, probably a fence, as he shielded his ears with his hands. Panic still had its grip on him, and he was getting increasingly more aware of the ghostly figures and voices all around him. 

 

“Klaus? Are you okay?” he heard his sister say, and he couldn’t help but flinch when she placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. His heart was calming down a bit, and he placed his hands in his laps nervously as he watched the bus driving away, it’s passengers eyeing him curiously. He didn’t care what they thought of him, people had seen him in worse states after all, and his body was still so revved up that he couldn’t think straight. What the hell just happened?

 

“Hey, hey Klaus, it’s okay, I think you just had a panic attack or a reaction to the-” KLaus didn’t listen to more, just focused on getting his breath under control again, and feeling the earth underneath him, letting it ground him. The bus was far away now, and the few people walking on the street couldn’t care less about him. He felt a bit better, especially with his sister still holding his should comfortingly and in one smooth movement he was up and tried smiling at his sister. It was a bit more shakily than he had hoped for, but it was a smile alright. Vanya hesitantly smiled back.

 

“Can we take a cab instead? Seems the bus and me didn’t agree with each other.” he said, aiming for a light and happy tone, that was just a bit too high to be anything but hysterical. 

 

“Of course” Vanya said, going back to pick up the bags of clothes she had abandoned in the heat of the moment. As they walked on, trying to catch a cab she took his hand, and she didn’t let go before she had to open the car door and gently steer him inside. 

 

She waited until the cab had dropped them off at her apartment, and until they were safely inside before she sat her brother down and looked him gently in the eyes.

 

“Klaus.” She said, merely to try and get his attention. It took a few moments but finally he looked at her, and the far-away look in his eyes cleared. He smiled at her, the smile she had quickly came to find, was the one he used when he was trying to make people believe he was okay, when he wasn’t. 

 

“I think the bus is a trigger for you,” she said matter-of-factly, “I don’t know much about all of this, but most people who’ve been at war usually have PTSD when they come back home. I think you should meet up with a psychologist.”

 

He looked down at his hands, gently touching along the scar of his tattoo, a nervous habit he had gained a few months back, when he needed something to remind him that his past life with his siblings was real, and not just something he had dreamt or imagined.

 

“I’m okay.” he said, and smiled at Vanya’s skeptical expression,”I mean it sis, I just have to be a bit more mindful when in public, that’s all. Besides, you have a date, and I can’t have you all upset over me being stupid, alright?”

 

“You’re not being stupid-”

 

Klaus was already getting up, taking his clothes out of the bag and disappearing into the toilet to get changed. The door closed with a soft sound and left Vanya worried and upset. She wasn’t a confrontational person and she didn’t know if she even have the right, but she had to try.

 

“Klaus, please promise me you’ll go to a doctor when this whole end-of-the-world thing is over, okay? Please.”

 

For a long while silence laid over the apartment. Vanya started to worry if she had overstepped her boundaries, or if Klaus was mad at her, when he finally answered.

 

“Okay. It’s probably long overdue anyway.”

 

And that was that, way easier than she thought it would be. But then again, if someone had asked her to go to a doctor when she had first started to show signs of depression she would probably had gone as well. The human mind had a way of sensing when something was wrong, and the natural solution was to seek help. It was just hard to do that, when you felt like you were all alone, and nobody believed there was anything wrong with you. Luckily, Klaus had Vanya, and she believed plenty in him.

 

***

 

_ The Golden Flamingo  _ stood in broad and violently bright colors on the front of the busy restaurant that they were to meet up at. It was tacky, but cozy in a way that Klaus had come to only associate with Vanya's place. Outside a dozen plants decorated the ground and the menu hanging on beside the old, brown door, showed that the prices were fair enough, and the food choices plenty. Klaus liked the guy already, he obviously had style, and Klaus’ poor budget wouldn’t do well with a fancy restaurant as the one he had feared they were going to. Besides, it wasn’t Vanya's style to dine fancily, and this suited her much better. 

 

Inside, the style was reminiscent of the 80’s, and huge posters of various old artist like Queen and Bowie decorated the walls. It was small, but not crowded and the place buzzed of quiet conversation and laughs. The atmosphere was nice and the place was obviously family-owned if the three teen-servants who all looked alike, was anything to go by.

 

Leonard was already there when they walked in, and when he saw them he gave a little wave. Klaus waved his hello-hand back at him, and glanced at his sister. She was smiling, and even blushing a bit. It was cute, and so was her outfit, which Klaus was very proud of. Her top, though not a crop, was shorter than what she usually wore, and a nice dark blue color and her pants were loose and held up by the heart belt. Vanya had been a little skeptical, but Klaus had promised her that she looked absolutely gorgeous. It hadn’t been a lie: she was. 

 

Maybe it was the cozy atmosphere of the restaurant or maybe it was the happiness radiating of his sister that made him not notice the ghost sooner. It was a middle-aged man, with a face set in stone and a mouth that looked like it had never been lifted in a smile. Klaus couldn’t see the telltale wound that killed him, but he could see the exact moment the man noticed him. Something was wrong, something felt off, and Klaus had a way of knowing these things. It wasn’t unusual for a ghost to be following a living person around. In fact, that was the most normal thing a ghost could do - follow a loved one around, a sister, a brother or even a child. Mostly, it seemed as if they did this out of love, because they were worried or missed the living person so much, and this was the only way of being near them. This man, though, wasn’t showing any kind of love towards Leonard. He reminded Klaus of the few ghosts following Diego around with resentment and hatred, the ghosts of those he had killed during their early years in the academy. It had always been in self-defense, but the ghost didn’t seem to care about that. 

 

Leonard was smiling though, and he seemed really nice, as he shook Klaus hand and handed each of them a menu. He had ordered a couple of glasses of wine for him and Vanya, and a coke to the sober Klaus. He was considerate as well then, seemingly a good guy. 

 

So why the hell was a dead guy following around him, as if Leonard had been the one to put him in the ground?

 

“It’s very nice to finally meet some more of Vanya’s family - I’ve heard so much about you, both from the news with the whole Umbrella academy thing, but also from Vanya.” Leonard said, smiling widely, before looking down at the menu.

 

Klaus glanced at Vanya, before deciding to play nice, at least until he could talk to her about the situation. Maybe she knew what was going out - surely he had killed the man in self-defense or by some freak accident, and the ghost was just petty and vengeful. 

 

“It’s nice to meet you as well,” Klaus said, smiling pleasantly, “Anyone who can make my dear tomboyish sister dress up and wear makeup has my utter respect.” 

 

Leonard laughed at that before getting closer to Klaus looking at him expectantly; “So, I’m, too curious not to ask - which powers do you have?”

 

KLaus startled a bit at the question. It was weird, didn’t he just say he had heard about them on the news? Surely, then, he would know about the most flamboyant and outgoing of the bunch. But then again, daddy dearest had stored him away in interviews after he had “accidentally” come out on live television, so maybe not.

 

“I’m the séance. I can see ghosts,” He explained, glancing behind Leonard all the while, clearly noticing Leonard tensing up a bit. 

 

Then he looked down at his own menu, looking over the whole variety and tensing up just a bit. He hated having to choose food in restaurants, not knowing the exact number of calories in the dishes, so he settled on some onion soup. He had tasted in back when they were in Paris, and it was heavenly, and quite healthy as far as he remembered. 

 

Leonard and Vanya talked a bit between themselves, but Klaus had drifted out of the conversation, only making a comment or two, when the waiter arrived and took their orders. When Klaus said his, Vanya glanced at him with a worried expression, but Klaus just smiled and winked exaggerated at her. 

 

They talked some more. Leonard turned out to be an all around decent guy, though fishy at times, some answers not aligning with facts about his life he had provided earlier. It was weird, and Klaus was worried, and he had a feeling that Leonard could sense he was worried. It was in the tilt of his head, and in his eyes that were so cold, even when he was smiling. 

 

Dinner was over, and Klaus desperately needed some fresh air. He also desperately needed a hit, but he tried to shove the thought of that away. He voiced his intentions, and Vanya was quick to want to join him.

 

“No, you stay here, enjoy yourself, I’m just gonna go have some fresh air, okay?”

 

She didn’t seem convinced, but she nodded, and let him go, which he did, hastily and gratefully. Throughout the entire dinner, the ghost behind Leonard had just stood there, staring at him with those cold, dead eyes and that permanent frown. At least with Diego’s ghost they were scattered around the room, no closer than they needed to be. 

 

The sky outside was dark and the stars shone brightly and clearly despite him being in the city. It grounded him, as the outside usually did, and he felt as if he could finally breathe again. He would talk to Vanya about this, because after all, it wasn’t just him who had gotten bad vibes from the guy - Allison had as well, going as far as to make Diego check up on the situation. But Klaus had sent Diego away, and now it was his responsibility to make sure their sister was alright. 

 

He was lost in thought, about Vanya, and also about whether or not Diego was safe, and if he had found the assassins, when the door opened with a bing and Vanya’s boyfriend stepped out.

 

“Hey, you okay?” He said, surprisingly kind, and Klaus would have believed he cared, if it wasn’t for the mean man that followed close behind him.

 

“Yeah, it was just a tad to hot in there, with all those people.” Again, he couldn’t help but glance at the ghost behind Leonard, which he definitely noticed this time. 

 

“Is there something behind me Klaus?” He said, his voice the opposite of what it had been in the restaurant.

 

Klaus didn’t say anything, just waved him away with his goodbye-hand and stepped a few steps away. Leonard lounged at him, throwing an arm over Klaus bony shoulders, that made him flinch as he dragged him along with him. Klaus was about to slip out of his grip, when he felt the cold touch of a gun on the side of his stomach.

 

When he looked up at Leonard he was met with a cold, sadistic smile. “You know, this was way easier than I anticipated. Come on, I know just the place where we can talk more freely.”

 

Turned out, he did know just the place. Just down the road from  _ The Golden Flamingo _ was the alleyway Klaus had frequented daily in his youth. It made him shudder when he remembered what had gone on there, what he had allowed people to do to him, just so that he could get his fingers on any kind of drug.

 

“Number 4, better known as Klaus Hargreeves frequently sold himself in the know drug-alleyways of New York City. I know that for a fact, because the other drug addicts that hang around here has very loose lips when you can offer large quantities of drugs or money.”

 

Fuck. Shit. Fuck. What the hell was this guy planning?

 

“Listen Leonard, I don’t know what you’re planning-”

 

“Shut the fuck up, you useless fucking bitch!” He screamed as he tossed Klaus down the dreaded empty alleyway. Klaus took his hands up in surrender, and tried to keep calm, remembering the breathing techniques that Dave had taught him. 

 

Leonard wasted no time, though, as he lunged at Klaus again, using his right knee to hit Klaus in the center of his stomach. Klaus lurched over, coughing and sputtering in pain, as the next punch hit him right in his nose. He tasted more than felt the blood that dripped down in huge drops of red. 

 

Leonard punched again, but this time klaus was ready, albeit a little uncoordinated as he landed a damn near perfect uppercut directly in Leonard's stupid fucking face. The man was forced a few steps back by the force of the hit, and he was proper angry now, eyes gleaming with hate, but before he could do anything else they both heard it.

 

“Leonard? Klaus? Where are you guys!?”

 

It was Vanya. Fuck, she’d never learned to fight like the others, and Leonard would break her as easy as anything. A lot of things happened just as she came into view at the top of the alleyway. Leonard looked back, and Klaus used the brief moment of distraction to shove Leonard to the ground, and Vanya saw and she screamed at them, and Klaus screamed at her.

 

“Vanya run! He has a gun-”

 

Thats all he got to say before a blinding pain went through him, almost paralyzing him completely. He only heard the noise of a gun being shot later, after the bullet had settled in his stomach and made it’s home there. He looked down at it, admiring the way it looks, so small and fixed, and almost a match to Dave’s. If it had just been a bit higher, they would have been a match. Almost absently he grabs at the wound, pressing into it, as he falls to the ground. Everything is so heavy, and his head feels as if it’s filled with lead. Warmth spread through him, and through half-closed eyes he sees the blood leaking out of him into the dirty ground of the alley, and he wonders how many addicts has died here. He would know, he he just concentrated and summoned the ghosts, but that was the last thing he wanted to do right now, to be completely honest.

 

There was noise around him and suddenly it was raining, big and heavy drops that fell on his skin and cleaned him, washing away the red. He looks up, remembering that he has to warn Vanya, when he finds he doesn’t need to. Vanya is very much alive, and Leonard is very much not, with a piece of metal sticking out of his stomach, painting his date-shirt red. 

 

And then Vanya collapsed, seemingly out of nowhere, and Klaus lost all hope. He was dying here, he realised, on the streets of the worst place he knew, the place he had lost his virginity back in the day, and the place he had first learned about the sweet release of hard drugs. 

 

He supposed it made sense in a way, dying here, of all places. And that was the last thing he thought before falling into a deep darkness. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this was rather long, I think, and this fic is probably coming to an end soon - but don't worry! I have many ideas as to how I can torture Klaus some more!! Also he needs some loving from his ghost bf, so I'll see to that as well. 
> 
> also shout out to the two readers who always comment - I'm not mentioning you because I don't know if you guys are comfortable with that, but you know who you are: thank you for the consistent comments that are always so nice, and sweet - I really, really appreciate it, and your comments make me soooo happy <3 <3 <3   
> (I would love to chat to you on Tumblr, so please hit me up if you'd like that as well!!! )
> 
> To the rest of the people who read this: Thank you so much! I appreciate every bookmark and every kudos, this fandom is so sweet and loving and I feel so welcome!!!
> 
> (Also TUA just got renewed for season two today - and I don't think its an April fools!!!)


	8. It all works out in the end-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As kids, we used to laugh  
> Who knew that life would move this fast?  
> Who knew I'd have to look at you through a glass?  
> \- family business by Kanye West

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little warning about talks about injury

Everything was grey - that was the first thing he noticed. Birds were singing and everything was grey. He was laying on the ground outside, but it wasn’t cold in the slightest. He sat up, gently, because he had the faint sense of being hurt, but by what he couldn’t remember.

He looked out at the world, trying to make sense of what he was seeing. All around him was trees, weirdly mellow and smaller than usual. It crept him out, this place, it didn’t feel… right. It seemed as if there was no temperature, no hot or cold, no sensation at all, he realised as he dragged his hand across the forest ground. He could feel the ground, it was there, but he couldn’t feel any sensations from the motion. No tickling grass, no slight coldness from the dirt, no sun up in the sky warming up the goosebumps that were bound to be up his arms. 

 

Slowly, as if moving in slow motion, he stood up on unsteady legs. Confused and in a daze, he stretched his arms out in a heavy sigh, when he noticed he had woken up in a clearing in the forest. A clearing that apparently worked as a road. On that road someone was… biking? Coming towards him was a small girl dressed in white and with long, black hair.

 

“Og, yoo-hoo!” he yelled out, carelessly, before walking towards her, “Hello.”

 

The bike stopped. 

 

“Almost didn’t see you,” the girl said, a sarcastic tilt in her voice, “Keep on riding around here. So pale and all. “

 

“Hmm.” Klaus agreed, looking down at his pale, grey body. 

 

“They don’t have any sun down there?” She asked.

 

Klaus blinked. “Down there? Where am I?”

 

“Where do you think?” she said as if he was stupid. Maybe he was. The gears started turning is his mind, the stoic calm he had possessed since wakening slowly disappearing. 

 

“I’m not sure,” he said, only half-kidding, “I’m agnostic, so-”

 

“Doesn’t really matter. You can’t stay here” 

 

“Why not?”

 

“To be blunt, I don’t really like you all that much”

 

Ouch.

 

“Mm,” he replied, “Yeah me neither.” He stared unseeingly in front of him, suddenly lost in thought. So, what was going on? Was he… dead?

 

“But wait a moment. Aren’t you supposed to love all of us?” he asked the little girl, who he suspected might be god. Seems Ariana Grande was right: God really was a woman. 

 

She scoffed at him, “Where’d you get that idea? I need you, so I can pick and choose. And you don’t rub me the the right way.”

 

God may be a woman, but damn, if she wasn’t what he’d thought she’d be. 

 

“Wait. So you… you made us? You made  _ me? _ ” He said, and let the  _ why _ hang in the air between them, as he crunched down a bit, so he was on God’s level.

 

“Well, I made everything else, so I must’ve made you” She shrugged and sounded disappointed. In herself or in Klaus, he couldn’t tell. He got it - he was disappointed as well. It did hurt though, just a bit, so he did what he was best at: laughing it off.

 

“Why? Do you have another idea?” She asked.

 

Now it was his time to shrug. “Maybe. A couple. I don’t know,” This still seemed too unreal, after all. 

 

“Well then keep them to yourself. Time is flying, so hurry up. He’s waiting for you.” She said, pointing towards a little hut further into the forest, not far from where they stood.

 

Klaus looked up from where he had been playing with the flowers on the bike. He? Who was he? 

 

Wait.

 

The realisation hit Klaus like a freight train. 

 

“Dave.” He smiled, as sure as anything, that of course, Dave would be there, waiting for him when he died. 

 

He smiled at the girl for a last time, nodding his thanks, before setting off into the forest, yelling his lovers name. To say the hut was what he was expecting would be a lie. It was weird, on the outside it was small and looked as if it’s was very old, but as soon as he stepped foot inside it was as if the place had grown twice it’s size. The inside looked like an old barbershop. Sitting on one of the chairs was Dave.

 

Klaus heart skipped a beat, as he made his way over there, just a few steps away from where he was standing. Dave looked up form where he was reading a magazine, that was put away as soon as he saw Klaus. A few seconds later, Klaus was plastered on Dave, sitting awkwardly on his lap and pressing a heated kiss to his lips.

 

Instantly, he felt better. It didn’t matter where Klaus was, if Dave was there as well, he would always consider it home. He would follow Dave to the end of the earth, even to the frontlines of a war or into death itself. 

 

Dave answered Klaus’ kiss just as aggressively, and everything started to slot into place again. Everything returned, the heat, the cold, the very nature of feeling sensations and  emotions. It overwhelmed him, and calmed him down at the same time. Dave had released something in him and as he broke the kiss and looked into those beautiful, warm honey-eyes, he finally felt normal again, like himself. 

 

“Dave” he whispered, so close to him they shared the same breath of air, just tasting the name, savoring it, now that he could so sparingly say it to the man himself. Dave was a calm that Klaus hadn’t had in what felt like ages. He pressed his face down into the crook of Dave’s shoulder, right where neck meets shoulder bone. Dave held him just as close as Klaus hung on to him.

 

“Klaus.” He said. “Klaus.”

 

Klaus knew what was coming, he could here the urgency in his lovers voice, but he ignored it, just for now. Right now, he needed this, more than he needed to breath. In the back of his mind a thought formed that he had always needed Dave, from the moment he was born, it just took a while to find him. A while and a century between them.

 

“Klaus, you can’t die. I won’t allow it.” 

 

The words made Klaus pay attention. Oh yeah, if he’d met God, that would mean he was currently in heaven. Or just the afterlife, as it didn’t seem very heavenly at all. And if he was in the afterlife, that could only mean one thing: he was dead.

 

He sighed in relief.

 

“I’m already dead, baby.” He smiled into Dave’s skin. “And we only have forever to celebrate the fact of that!”

 

“No.” Dave said, putting his hands on either side of Klaus’ face not ungently, and looked him in the eyes. “You can’t die now. Not before you fulfill our promise. Besides, you have a family who’s worried sick about you.”

 

Klaus couldn’t help but laugh, “My siblings couldn’t care less about whether or not I died. I’ve always been a burden, the runt of the group, why would they suddenly care this time? I’ve died plenty of times, and they never said a word.”

 

“Because you always came back to them, Klaus.” Dave said and kissed him softly. Klaus leaned into it, whining needily when Dave pulled back, all too soon. 

 

“Listen Klaus, you promised, the good life, remember?”

 

Klaus groaned. He knew. He knew he promised, and he slowly started to understand that he wasn’t getting out of this one dead. Unfortunately for him, he had to keep on living.

 

“The good life.” He agreed.

 

***

 

Beep.

 

Beep.

 

An irregular sound. Then, once more, the sound of a “Beep” was the only sound heard in the quiet hospital room. It was the only sound, save the calm breathing of five living people, and one dead. The room wasn’t the biggest, so the large family had to share the three chairs that were available. That left Allison and Luther standing near the door and Five, Vanya and Diego sitting as close to Klaus as they could be. On the end of the bed, Ben sat, invisible to the rest of his siblings. He missed Klaus more than he had ever missed anyone in his life before. The near-loss was like a ice-bath in his heart, and if he could sleep, he wouldn’t have in bare worry over his brother. He was annoying, yes, but he loved him, more than anything. Who else would drive 3 hours in a bus to the ocean just because their brother missed the beach? Who else would take him to the movies whenever a new Marvel movie was released despite not caring for superheroes in the slightest? Klaus would, and he always had.

 

To Klaus’ right side Diego sat, face set in stone. He hadn’t slept for 48 hours now, and the lack of sleep was catching up on him. Regardless he still sat there, anxiously waiting for his brother to wake up. He had been sitting here, in this position, so many times before. When Klaus had overdosed, or had been beat up by a bunch of dealers who was angry he owed them money, Diego was there. He was Klaus’ emergency contact, and whenever something happened, despite maybe not talking in years, he would come, silently berate his brother over his life choices and pay for his stay in the hospital and his recovery.

He had done it because he loved his brother, but he had always held a slight grudge over it. This time though, it wasn’t Klaus’ fault, it wasn’t even  _ near _ Klaus’ fault, and Diego was so worried he could throw up. The only thing his brother had tried to do, was help their sister out. In the end, warning her had been the last thing he did. 

 

To the left side of Klaus, Vanya sat, holding the pale hand of her brother tightly. She felt as if all of this had been her fault. Yet, she couldn’t help but grieve for the love that might have blossomed between her and Leonard - or, Harold, as it turned out his real name was. Five had returned a few hours after the incident, full of brand new information they could use to stop the world. They only needed to kill Harold Jenkins. Simple enough, except - turns out, he was already dead, and it was Vanya who had done it, because apparently she had powers now. Said powers shot out of her like a pistol destroying everything in its path, including Harold. 

 

She held Klaus’ hand tighter and tried to stifle a cry. 

 

Luther stood a couple of feet away, mostly staring at the ground, but every once in a while, he glanced up at the pale ghost in the bed. As tall and broad as Luther was, he wasn’t used to feeling so small and worthless. He could do nothing. He couldn’t help Klaus, or tell him how sorry he was for how he had been treating him, and he certainly couldn’t take his mean words back. 

 

Diego had taken him aside, a half day after they’d found Klaus, bleeding out on the alleyway, and told him everything that had happened. Klaus really had been in Vietnam, fighting a war that should never even have started, and he came home because someone he loved had died. He came home to help them. Instead of believing his brother when he had told him this himself, Luther had accused him of lying - no worse, of being high, despite Klaus having been sober for almost a year at that time. 

 

The guilt gnawed at him, and he could see the same look in the eyes of his sister, who stood right behind him. They had all been so caught up in the apocalypse that they had forgotten to check up on Klaus. Allison, especially, wished she could turn back time, and do it all again. Go back to the time she used to show Klaus how to do his makeup, and when they used to borrow each others clothes and act out movies in her room after hours. When she had the chance, however, she left, leaving Klaus behind, despite knowing he was struggling more and more with the drugs and the drinking. She had been selfish and she knew this now, and the thing she wanted the most in the world was to make everything right again. Not just with Klaus, with Vanya as well as the rest of their dysfunctional family. To maybe, finally be a family again. She hoped the rest of the family felt the same as her, as she glanced over at Five, who as usual, didn’t show what he was feeling nor thinking.

 

He was affected though, because it wasn’t right to see Klaus like this. He had always been a whirlwind of emotion and movement, only just pausing enough to breathe before he was on his merry way again. Laying still in a hospital bed wasn’t the look for him. Moreover, he felt a kinship to this brother of his, who apparently had been time traveling himself. He knew what that felt like, how disoriented and confused you were for days afterwards. He wished Klaus had come to him about it, instead of running away from the academy, even if he went to a safer place instead. 

 

***

 

The night had fallen over the hospital. Visiting hours were over, and so the only person in the room were Klaus, who woke up all alone, with only the moon that shone through the blinds of the windows, as company. Fate was cruel in that way - making him wake up all alone, just mere hours after his siblings had gone home. Siblings who had stayed there the entire two days, before being forced to go home, because they refused. Klaus would never know that though, because the only sight that met him, when he opened his eyes, were the sight of Ben. And even though he would love to see Vanya, to know she was alright, Ben was a pleasant sight to see. 

 

He opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came out. He wet his lips with a his tungoue and tried once again. This time he was a bit more successful.

 

“Hi.” He managed to croak out, the words painful and a chore. He felt terrible. There was no way else to describe it. His head was a big, thundering mess, and everytime he shifted his body, a seemingly new pain shot through him. The place that hurt the most, however, was in his lower stomach in the left side. It was worse every time he breathed in, and yet even worse when he breathed out. 

 

Ben was quick to come to his side when he heard him, abandoning his near permanent place next to the window, where he had been staring out at the night sky. 

 

“Hey man, how’re you doing?” he asked, gently as ever.

 

Klaus attempted a weak thumbs-up instead of replying, but even he knew how pathetic it looked. He could barely lift his right arm, before a soaring hot pain went through him from his shoulder. 

 

“‘m fine”

 

Ben huffed, and sat down on the chair next to the bed. It was an old one of its kind and creaked a bit as it was used. 

 

“You were shot straight in your spleen, you know. So that’s one organ less.” Ben explained, “They had to operate, it was completely shattered, and you had lost a lot of blood. Luckily we all have the same blood type, and everyone wanted to contribute.”

 

Then he laughed. “You should have seen it, Diego - being the stupid vigilante type that he is, wanted to be the one to donate. Except he couldn’t because as soon as he saw the needle he passed out! It was great.”

 

Klaus smiled weakly. It sounded great. He wondered how they had found him, and what even had really happened. Before he had time to ask however, exhaustion took hold of him and he feel asleep yet again, surrendering to the welcoming dark that held no pain. 

 

***

 

The next time he woke, he wasn’t alone at all - quite the opposite actually. The room buzzed with restless energy and the quiet work of the nurse, attending to Klaus. Again, it took him a bit of time before he figured out where he was, and with the knowledge of that, the pain returned as well.

 

Eyes closed, he just focused on breathing in and out, trying to distract himself with the lesser pains in his body, the ones that were only the result of laying down for too long. How long had he been asleep? Now the sun was shining, and the room was warm, so it must have been at least a day.

 

Slowly, he opened his eyes, and just laid in silence, watching as his siblings bickered among each other, seemingly talking about - surprise! - the apocalypse.

 

“All I’m saying is that there is a possibility-”

 

“Five, the apocalypse was stopped. You said it yourself, if we just killed Harold Jenkins, the world wouldn’t end. And we have, problem solved.”

 

“I agree with Diego, Five, maybe you should relax a bit? Go home, sleep for a bit.”

 

“How can I sleep,” Five’s voice turned a volume higher, as his temper rose as well, “When Klaus is laying in the hospital, looking like he’s on the brink of death!?”

 

At the mention of his name, Klaus piped up, “I’m very much alive.” he said, and smiled the best he could. Six faces turned so fast, Klaus was worried they would get whiplash. An array of voices spoke up, a mix between extremely excited and relieved. 

 

“Klaus we have been so worried-” He hear Allison say, and it made him smile.

 

“You son of a bitch! Did it have to take you three days to wake up?” Diego then said, and Klaus giggled surprised, both at apparent time he had been gone, and at the surprise of the worry in his brother eyes. He then instantly stopped giggling as it hurt like a bitch to do so. 

 

He could feel a firm grip on his hand and as he looked to his left, Vanya was right there, big tears rolling down her cheeks as she sniffled loudly.

 

“Klaus, I- I’m so sorry, I should have never- and then you-,” She said in between sobs. It was more than crying really, it was the kind of desolate sobbing only heard from a person overcome with so much relief they could barely breathe. It was the kind of sobbing that made Klaus heart clench painfully in his heart, and the only thing he could do was grip Vanya’s hand tighter in response. The pain that flowed from him was nowhere near the guilt that Vanya had had to carry, and he knew this, because he knew his sister, and he knew she would carry the sins of the world on her back if she could. She was the Hargreeves family’s very own Atlas, holding up the rainy sky for them, always ready to help even if it hurt her in the process. 

 

He wondered what that made him? Would he ever be worthy of being a god, when even God herself had cast him out? He didn’t know, and his thoughts were a mumbled mess that dragged out in infinity.

 

He tried to concentrate on Vanya again, but apparently some time had passed since he’d last done that, because now Allison was there as well, holding her and shushing her gently. He wanted to tell her it wasn’t her fault - it was simply a thing that happened. A horrible, hurtful thing sure, but just a thing nonetheless. 

 

The nurse who had been in the room since he had woken up, but who he hadn’t noticed until now, placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

 

“How are you feeling today Klaus?” She asked, not unkindly.

 

“Just peachy” he said, winking up at her. She wasn’t all that pretty but she looked kind, with short, brown hair that framed a heart-shaped face. Her eyes were bright and intelligent, and her voice was low and secure. She looked like a mother ought to look, nurturing and sweet. 

 

She smiled at him, then rustled with some of her aquipment. 

 

“I’m just gonna take a blood sample, and be on my way.” She took a needle out, and turned his arm a bit, he winced as it was the arm with the bad shoulder, “Ah, sorry about that, you see, when we get injuries in the spleen it usually spreads to the shoulder because the two are connected by a nerve, so you’ll probably feel some discomfort there the next few days, but worry not, nothing is wrong.”

 

She put the needle in his arm, and Klaus almost didn’t notice. He’d had worse things in his arms, and bigger needles as well: this was nothing.

 

He did notice that Diego had to look away though, and that made him smile a bit. He had to remember to tease him about that later. 

 

Then the nurse was off to run some tests on his blood, and Klaus finally felt a sensation other than pain - hunger. He said so to the rest of the group, all of which jumped into action to find him something to eat. He smiled again, a private little thing. He could get used to this.

 

***

 

14 days later he was released from the hospital, and even though he still had pain in his stomach it had lessened considerately. He had strict orders from his doctors though: no physical activity in at least 3 months, when he had to come in for a check up.

 

A lot had happened in those 14 days. First of all, they stopped the apocalypse. Apparently Harold Jenkins, Vanya’s loverboy, was the bomb that set the end of the word off, though they hadn’t found out exactly how he had managed to do that. Sure, he had overcome Klaus, but that was no accomplishment at all, even though Diego tried to convince him otherwise. 

 

It was only a few days after he first woke up that he finally figured out how Harold died. Vanya’s power had resurfaced after years of numbing them with pills, and they had done so at the very best moment. She had remembered more and more of her past, how their dad had locked her up and how Allison had rumored her into thinking she was just ordinary. A shitty thing to do, on all accords, but they were just kids after all, and they had all yearned after their fathers love back then, prepared to do almost anything to make him proud.

 

So, life moved on, and Allison and Vanya started hanging out more, going out to grab a cup of coffee or went out to the movies. 

 

Luther had come one day, when Klaus was still in bedrest at home, and had stood awkwardly in the entrance before being surprisingly genuine with an apology. 

 

“Klaus,” he had said, “I’m sorry about not believing you. Dad always used to talk about how you sought after attention all the time, and because he believed it I guess I also did. I shouldn’t have though, because you’re the most selfless person I know, and I’m sorry for how I’ve treated you.” 

 

To say Klaus cried wouldn’t have been a lie, but he choose to keep that to himself and Luther. Things had still been a little weird between them, but as time went on, they healed and started being brothers again. It was nice, nothing like Klaus had ever hoped for. 

 

Another giant plus was that Klaus could summon his brother more and more and for every time he succeeded, he planned how he would surprise his siblings with it. But that came later, for now, they all just focused on learning how to be a family again. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! I think this is gonna be the last chapter of this pic, because it really transformed from a one shot to a 45-page story lmao, and It's very messy, both the plot and everything because I hadn't really planned that far ahead.
> 
> A few things I would like to say here at the end:
> 
> \- I've already started the next fan-fiction about tua, which of course is going to be Klaus-centric again, but this time as them as kids, and definitely only one chapter haha
> 
> \- Please, if you have something you'd like me to write, do write a comment here or hit me up on Tumblr @kindasickkindacool if I think the prompt is interesting, I'll definitely write it, or at least incorporate it into a future fic. 
> 
> \- English is not my native language, so if some of the sentences are weird or I use to many commas, that's probably why :)
> 
> \- then I'd also like to give a shout out to The__best__Guesst who has faithfully been commenting on all of the chapters and has been the kindest and sweetest person <3
> 
> \- Also, IWishIHadATurle - I love you, you're amazing, and sweet and a huge reason for this pic even getting this long haha, so thank you for being you, and thanks for leaving small essays on every chapter - you're a real one <3
> 
> Thank you to everyone who have read this pic from the beginning, or who has just started, and finished today - I appreciate all of you so, so very much, and I have so much inspiration and so many ideas because of you guys!

**Author's Note:**

> hope u liked it! please comment if u did!! :D
> 
> I already have next chapter mostly written soooo


End file.
